turkey based chicken

After looking back on the inspirational speech by the blonde bimbo who told me i could be a ‘para’ anything I finally made my decision. I am going to be a “para super villain”. I’m off to a bit of a slow start because Raleigh is not the place to start a career as a villain, para or otherwise. If I can’t get this going I may fall back to my secondary thought “para superhero.” Not really “super” hero.....more like “para slightly above average hero”. My alter ego will be Relatively Okay Man. I will show up to the scene of the crime not to save the world but just kind of straighten things up a little bit. For instance the bad guys have robbed the bank and shot the place up pretty well. I swoop In, help you up, dust you off a little bit. I tell you “ sure those guys stole all your money but you only got shot once. Could’ve been worse” Relatively Okay Man for the win!!
Maybe for fun my “para Supervillain” alter ego can mix it up with my “para slightly above average hero.”. As a super villain I can break into a weight watchers aerobics class and call everyone “fatty fat” and runoff laughing maniacally. Within moments, As the class cries, Relatively Okay Man arrives and tells the class ‘ you’re not THAT fat.’

My work here is done.

the last picture show

I got a call from the wheelchair people yesterday. They said my wheels have shown up early and will be delivered tomorrow. I can give the loaner back a solid week earlier than expected. While it’s good news on some level it’s also somewhat surrealistic. It’s kind of messing with my head a little bit. On the one hand, it’s my chair. Mine. My personal property. I can put on stickers or hang air fresheners if I please without recrimination. But on the other hand there is the finality of being my chair. The piece of equipment for which I am expecting to spend the entirety of the rest of my life in. The last hurrah. The doctor is expecting me to hop on it tomorrow and stay on it until my end of days. I’m looking at it as a temporary setback but realistically I never may be get of it. That’s a tough thing to think about. I guess I should handle it the way I do with most heavy thoughts….by thinking about baseball instead.

Regardless, it will be here tomorrow at four.