Fueled by Ramen and cheap beer

Last Saturday I treated Da Olda Sista and tinytadpole to lunch at O’Malley‘s, my favorite dive bar/restaurant. My usual grub is open face roast beef with mashed taters but this time I took my chances on a fried bologna sandwich. Good call. It was crazy good.

During the week I abdicated my choice of new apartments and told Erica we could move into the one that she wanted. I wanted to move into a building that was 25 stories high with a rooftop pool in the middle of downtown. She wanted to move to a 12 story building on a street that I hate in a part of town I don’t care for. The positive of this building, a 55 and older community, is the price. We will save over $400 on rent and all utilities except Internet are included in the rent. Not my choice but I will make the best of it if it makes Erica happy. That’s because I am a wonderful, thoughtful person 24/7...24 days a month, 7 months a year.

Went to the DMV yesterday. My license expired whilst I was in the hospital. Plus I had to upgrade to the new Real ID because I want to travel and that’s the only form of identification they will take moving forward. We got there at 10 o’clock and they were well over 100 people in line outside of the office. We had moved up about 1/3 of the way when a rando DMV employee walked up to us and asked why we were there. I responded and she said we can take you inside right now. Hell to the yeah! We were able to cut in front of everyone and get served immediately. Within 15 minutes we were out of the DMV. I’m still not sure that really happened or if I was living in the twilight zone.

After the DMV wee back to the apartment building and dropped off all of our paperwork. It’s a rent controlled building for 55/older. They have all the trappings of an older community. Morning coffee, bingo, game night. If I only knew what night the senior swingers met. I never thought I would be in A building like this as I’ve never viewed myself as an adult much less an old fuck. I should be able to save quite a lot of money this year. At the end of the lease maybe I’ll make one last ditch effort to try to move to Seattle. If I can’t do it next year I might as well give up on that dream. I’ve lost close to two years of my life because of this Mersa infection. For years my only fear was that I was going to never get out of Raleigh. That I was going to die in a town that I hate. Losing all the time certainly didn’t help me getting out.

Chicken in a Biskit, my favorite cracker, now comes in ranch flavor. Clearly the reason I survived MRSA was to be alive when these debuted as they are the greatest snack food in the history of this or any other civilization.

Boy howdy. Yesterday was a day. I got an early text from Da Younga Sista. . Her ex-husband but they never got an actual divorcée was found unresponsive and passed away. That came completely out of left field. For years the name I used for him on this journal is Gurg. Out of respect I will give him back his name. Greg.

He and my sister have been together a long time a long time. Without going into bloody details they split up a decade or so ago but never went through the process of a legal divorce. They separated and went on with their own lives. Greg has fought a 40 year battle with the bottle. He’s tried rehab several times but to no success. (“Ya gotta wanna”-OC) J-Nic called me a couple weeks ago and said Greg had reached sobriety for the first time. She said hanging out with him for a weekend was a great experience. I’m so happy she had that before Greg left as their relationship (as was Greg with many people) tempestuous at best.

I was never a big fan of Greg’s. His arrogance and cockiness were over bearing and completely undeserving. MeDad gave him a job when he was down on his luck. Within a matter of weeks Greg was referring to himself as a 'carpenter. At that point he was the clean up boy and the gopher (the gopher is someone who you sent out to do menial tasks. Go get me a saw. Go move that pile of wood etc) about six months into his tenure he told me that MeDad didn’t know how to do something and he had to step in to show him. In case I never mentioned it MeDad was a certified master carpenter. That point there were only six in North Carolina. MeDad knew everything about carpentry, plumbing, framing, electrician work etc. He doesn’t forget things and need some newbie scrub to show him. That was the kind of person Greg was. He went on to start his own business. Within two years his attitude and poor quality work alienated most every builder in the area. I was never anything less than polite to him. My opinions matter not. Sista saw something in him that I didn’t and that’s what was important.

Having gone through Alcoholics Anonymous with Uncle OC I knew the struggle he was up against. I was never quiet in my desire that he sober up and be a better dad.

I am sad today knowing that Da Younga Sista and fam are having to deal with this heartbreak. Of my five nieces and nephews, J-Nic is one of the TOP 5. She had her gender reveal party and found she was having a little girl. They decided to name her Lucy Ann after MeMum. On top of the roller coaster. A couple days later her dad has passed away. The bottom of the roller coaster.

Grief is the price we pay to ❤️ love.
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After trying to quickly process Greg’s passing I had to haul ass a pulmonary appointment. The Cripple Van showed up on time. I was just as surprised as anyone. I had to do a breathing test. The technician, Jim Bob , kept imploring me to take full deep breaths. Little did he know those were the deep breaths. I’ve never been able to breathe easily. I believe I have a deviated septum because of which I never get really deep breaths. A lot of time I have to breathe out of my mouth. When people call others a 'mouth breather' as an insult I take it as a point of pride lol. The tech said my lungs Showed some signs of stress. Yeah, Jim Bob. A collapsed lung, a pneumonia, and two tubes shoved down my gullet in five days will do that to you.

I survived and had a post chest test conference with another doctor. Last night my lungs hurt so badly. I felt like I slept with the Titanic resting on my chest. My breathing was strained at best. And I think I paid them to make me feel this way. There’s got to be better way to spend money than this.

I fell out of bed again the other night. That’s two nosedives in three days.
A 61 year unrivaled history of staying bed bound ruined by 2 falls n 3 days. I have no awareness of it all only coming to my senses when I detected I was actually falling. Looks like the baby guard rail is going back up.

The Cripple Van effed me over the other day completely dropping one of my stops. I had a stop scheduled for 2pm which they put down as for 3pm. And even then they didn’t show up until 330!! Even if they hadn’t dropped stop #2 I still would’ve missed it. Yesterday we rescheduled a trio to make up that one stop. They got us 30 minutes early. We got to the location five minutes before our ride was scheduled to be picked up. JFC.

Usually there’s a witty punchline or a philosophical aside at the end of my posts Not today. The last couple days have sucked chinchilla ass. Every day seems to throw more obstacles in my way. Forget that 'what doesn't kill you' otter shit. I recently saw a story about a woman involved in a car crash 20 years ago and has been in a coma since. The car crash may not have killed her but is sure as dick did not make her stronger.

For years this has been my theme song. Every day it seems that roll is getting harder and harder to get moving.

Prior to becoming America’s Sexiest Cripple I had no reason to own a cell phone. Last year I got my first phone and basically it’s to call the Cripple Bus flapjacks. It’s a government issued phone but it serves its purpose. One slight issue is the screen goes blank after about five seconds. I haven’t been able to figure out how to fix that. After ending a call I have to tap the screen , type in the pass code, hit the button that says 'return to call' and then hit the 'end call' button. It’s about a three second process. It’s no big deal but once in a blue moon you hear the people on the other end before their phone hangs up. I just got off the phone booking a ride and the fellow I spoke with was new. I went through the booking and then told him a new Pope had been elected , We chitchat for a moment or two before I say goodbye. In the time it took me to hang up my phone I heard him say to a coworker “that’s one cool cat right there“

A new pope has been elected! My phone didn’t ring so I guess it’s not me. No Pope Chip this time around. Even though I view myself as an Apathetic Agnostic I’ve always been a fan of the popes as well as the amazing theatricality of electing a new one. I was a big fan of Pope Francis and John Paul II. I’m really looking forward to the announcement. I like the relaxed attitude Francis brought to the church and I hope they continue on that path for the good of mankind. We need someone sensitive and loving to counterbalance the hatred and evil our government is poisoning the world with.

It feels intrinsically wrong to be lying on the bed in sweat pants, eating cold ravioli from a can, while watching my 600 Pound Life.

I had a seriously tough workout yesterday. I added 100 leg extensions to my work out. I was not able to do the pedal machine so I end ed the workout on the rickshaw. Going from one room to the next with the walker i stumbled over a crease in the carpeting. Every little stumble reminds how far I have to go. I used to think beginning to walk was half the battle.

Shitcakes. i doubt i have completed 25%. Days like this suck the piss out of me. Make no mistake.....this is the hardest thing i have been faced with.

And I saw Showgirls!

TWICE!!!

Progress update – yesterday at rehab I did a lap around the indoor gym with a walker. It’s about 256 feet around and I did it in one shot. A four minute walk. It was the first time I’ve made it all the way around in one try. Because I’m a boastful asshole, I waited 10 minutes and then did it again. Badass, thy name is Seattle.

Erica and I ran out for a few minutes and when we returned the rain came. I’m sitting in the bedroom next to the window in my wheelchair, the windows open. I’m watching a walk-through Seattle video as the rain pours down. It’s surreal. It’s like 3-D YouTube. Maybe I’m onto something..

It’s been another hard-core week of meh here on PlanetChip. Nothing too exciting going on. It’s looking more and more like Erica and I are going to move. She really wants out but I am still hanging on because I love our apartment. The slumlords this week proved again they are incapable of lording a slam. When our water bill came in it read 'final bill'. I called them to inquire and the water company said the building was no longer using their service. I asked the latest in brain-dead-talking-heads running the rental office to confirm it. 'Don’t you think you might’ve told the residents that you’re switching water companies so when they get one that says final bill they don’t freak out? I guess that’s too much to ask of the brain dead.

Apartment prices in Raleigh are outrageous. There’s one complex just up the road that fits very nicely in our budget but it’s one complex up the road in the wrong direction. Because of Erica's job I want to move back towards our old apartment in Da Village. Unfortunately that is Raleigh's current hotspot to live. All the young tweakers, hipsters & trust fund babies are gobbling up all the apartments leaving us poop/outta luck.

The other day while we were out with Da Olda Sista we swung by a place that brought back some memories. Natures Own bread company has an outlet store off of Millbrook Road. It’s slightly bigger than a shoebox and carries a handful of cool things. You can get Natures Own bread and it’s affiliate products at remarkably low prices. Years ago in Raleigh there was a Wonder Bread outlet store MeMum and I used to go to. We would go once every couple months and stock up on bread and muffins etc. She would come down especially to get what was known as Bird Bread. It was four loaves for a buck because they 3 days past the sell by date. Perfect for for feeding your outside bird herd. I did that as well but truth be known once in a while one of those loaves served my purpose as opposed to the birds. This was the first time I’ve been in a bread outlet in 20 years and the first without MeMum. I was a little fragile when we got in there . I scored a couple of handful things but it the happiest with a lemon TastyKake fruit pie which I had for dinner that day. Just like MeMum used to buy me.

Earlier this here week....
Dr-so you lost a little bit of your lung during your hospitalization?
Me-yeah. I was intubated on two occasions & went into a coma because of the water in my lungs.
Dr-was this before you were being treated for pneumonia?
Me-I was never treated for pneumonia. Just a bunch of other lung nonsense.
Dr-no, it’s on your chart that you were being treated for pneumonia right until the time you left. Do you have the meds you took home for your recovery?
Me-wow. That’s news to me.

Of all this shit The Universe threw on me there was actually even more. During the time of my intubation I was suffering from pneumonia. I can’t recall anyone speaking to me about this. My assumption is since no one speaks to me now it must be better. It makes me look with more amazement that I actually made it through this. How did I get through this? Why did I make it through this....especially considering that it sounds like they were plenty of good reasons to not make it through? Does this mean The Universe has something bigger and better in store for me? If it does I have not seen any indication yet.

Definitely a "I’m-so-sick-of-running-in-place-not-moving-forward-my-urge-to-move-across-the-country-is-stronger-than-ever-before-because-there-is-10,000-places-I’d-like-to-live-in-and-only-this-one-i-hate-maybe-if-I-could-make-a-goddamn-decision-and-if-that’s-not-impacting-my-mental-health-more-than-enough-there's-the-people-that-expect-me-to-stay-motivated-every-second-of-every-day-and-don't-understand-me-when-I-tell-them-Isome-gays--want-to-cry-all-day-and-they-expect-it-of-me-by-saying- you got diss-and-that’s-only-one=of-you-because-once-I-left-the-hospital-people-quickly-forgot-about-me-I-was-a-rockstzr-for-a-year-then-left-on-an-island-like- The Professor & MaryAnne- kind-of-day.

It's not all gloom & doom. I did find a dime this morn.