rubber chicken florentine
Apr. 4th, 2024 01:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
somedayseattleIf I’m in my wheelchair and not at rehab or the grocery store, chances are I’m in the lobby of our building,. It’s a very spacious area and I’ve taken up a place in the corner next to one of the large windows. I’ll pull up next to the window and put the wheelchair in tilt position. Sometimes I will read but most of the time I will just stare lazily out the window. On the other side of the lobby, encased in glass is the rental office. To the left of the rental office is the clubhouse. The doors to the rental office are normally closed but during the day the clubhouse doors are open. The new rental office manager, Greg, normally puts his Amazon Dot in the clubhouse. He plays a smooth jazz playlist a little too loudly. I hate that kind of music. Erica‘s dad listens to it and I find it completely soulless. Nonetheless that’s what I have to deal with whilst in the lobby.
I don’t know what Greg’s deal is but he heads to the bathroom down the hallway about once an hour. Obsessively washes his hands? A unnatural desire to come his hair? I don’t know, I don’t give a shit. But this behavior has led to My New Favorite Thing. I will be there to the window with my chair Kicked back when I hear Greg leave the office. I will count to 10 which gives him sufficient time to get to the bathroom and even though I am a solid 50 feet away surprisingly the Amazon Dot can still hear my commands. "Alexa, play death metal playlist“ within moments the lobby is filled with the sounds of death metal. Greg will come back to the clubhouse stomp his foot and command the device to play the smooth jazz playlist. He will come out of the office a half hour later and when I’m sure he’s in the bathroom I will say “ Alexa, play Appalachian hillbilly music!" He will walk back from the bathroom and again stomp his feet and yell at his little machine. I am so far away that he has not made the connection that I’m the one fucking with him. But there is a certain joy in watching a little tiny man with greasy hair get aggravated when his little device is screwing with him.
I don’t know what Greg’s deal is but he heads to the bathroom down the hallway about once an hour. Obsessively washes his hands? A unnatural desire to come his hair? I don’t know, I don’t give a shit. But this behavior has led to My New Favorite Thing. I will be there to the window with my chair Kicked back when I hear Greg leave the office. I will count to 10 which gives him sufficient time to get to the bathroom and even though I am a solid 50 feet away surprisingly the Amazon Dot can still hear my commands. "Alexa, play death metal playlist“ within moments the lobby is filled with the sounds of death metal. Greg will come back to the clubhouse stomp his foot and command the device to play the smooth jazz playlist. He will come out of the office a half hour later and when I’m sure he’s in the bathroom I will say “ Alexa, play Appalachian hillbilly music!" He will walk back from the bathroom and again stomp his feet and yell at his little machine. I am so far away that he has not made the connection that I’m the one fucking with him. But there is a certain joy in watching a little tiny man with greasy hair get aggravated when his little device is screwing with him.
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Date: 2024-04-04 06:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-04-04 10:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-04-04 10:17 pm (UTC)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqZl9czGStQ
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Date: 2024-04-05 01:40 am (UTC)