soft targets

[somedayseattle]

Question-is there a website one can visit to see how many yokels get their fingers blown off on Independence Day? Something like goodbyehands.com or stupidhayseeds.com? I am predicting the loss of 413 fingers nationwide tomorrow. 409 men finger's and 4 lady finger's. What's the over/under on this? How many anus burns will occur when hillbillies try to launch fireworks out of their asses? I am going with 17. The bulk of these will happen in The South. I am also guessing 13 mullets will be destroyed after some hicks try to launch fireworks out of their mouths. There will be one really weird lip injury when someone tries to blow out a flaming anus. Any idea where I can go to get the final numbers??