filmed in front of a jive audience

2 weeks ago we did four rides on Da Cripple Bus. That’s a total of eight pick ups. None of them are on time. A handful of them were 30 minutes late and a couple were two hours late. I had called in for 3 PM pick up on Monday to go to my usual therapy. Cripple Bus got there at 3:59 PM, one minute before therapy started. The driver announced he had another pick up as well. We rounded up some old broad and eventually dropped her off before heading to the hospital. We arrived at 4:46 PM, one minute after therapy ends. This is the fourth session I’ve missed because I was in Cripple Corral. These monkeys cannot get a goddamn van schedule on time if they’re phony baloney jobs depended on it. There is no greater motivation for recovery than getting Frankie the Ford Fusion back on the road and driving myself around and Erica to work.

c0unt your calories

Finding acceptance is a delicate process. But finding acceptance is also The Key. Years ago Uncle OC gave me the Alcoholics Anonymous Bible. On the first page of the book he wrote simply 'page 447 xo, Uncle OC'. i flipped to that page and a singular phrase was highlighted. 'Acceptance is the key to happiness in my life' and the answers to my prayers today' (paraphrased). Learning this lesson drastically changed my life for the better. OC and I had many discussions about acceptance. After he took his own life our discussions of acceptance took on different meanings and comforted me during that black period.
I found acceptance for my medical issues very early. I kept a positive outlook for the most part. I do get down in the trenches but that’s to be exactly expected. I can usually pull myself out quicker than not. Right now though acceptance is very cloudy. As mentioned earlier Dolla Bill announced he has leukemia. I was gobsmacked to hear that. I’ve been built since 1984. We may not be 'call each other every week and catch up' friends but I know he’s always there and has my back and I for him. My brain is total garbage right now trying to reconcile my own fight for recovery with Bills news. He has a very strong outlook moving forward. Five years, 10 years. Someday it ends for all of us...he is just been given a bit of a wake up call. I love that about hijm. I’m pretty sure today I’m hurting about Bill more than Bill is hurting about Bill.

I promise to continue working on my acceptance of bills lot. I know I will find it at some point but right now I am just so taken aback. I don’t think anyone hears this sort of news and is fine within a day or two.

It’s sweater vest season!

Erica washed my moppy hair this evening. I feel so free! So clean! So alive! Damn you, dandruff! You will curse me no longer!!!