not Jim Fixx just yet

At therapy today they strapped me into a device similar to this.

Yep...The Verticalizer.

The concept is the machine should support your body while getting you in a vertical position. I’ve been on it several times. Being vertical feels very alien to me right now.
Elyse strapped me in today and using only the strength of my arms and what little gusto I have in my knees I was able to put myself unassisted to verticality. I was hanging onto the machine for dear life. My knees were screaming in pain. My back was on fire and what is left of my butt was clenched but yet there I stood. And then I did it.

My hands let go of the machine. For three solid seconds I stood straight up,
unassisted. I fucking stood up straight for three entire seconds!!!

I grabbed the machine, got back into a sitting position and cried for the next five minutes. I have not stood up straight and unencumbered since September of last year. I am still kind freaked out, overwhelmed and weepy. By sessions end, i stood on my own 3 times, the final being five seconds.

Fuck yeah me.