chipped porcelain

I don’t have any kids. (Well, none that I know about.) Erica also has no kids. (Well, none that she knows about). I have always been okay with making that decision years ago. Both of my sisters had kids and dealing with them was more than enough for me. So doing the gig as a carousel carnie has been a little eye-opening for me. I’ve seen a lot of really good kids. I’ve always been partial to girls. Two or three years old, bright eyed and smiling. You know, before they’re ruined by the men in their lives. I’ve seen some cute boys here and there but that’s more an oddity. Today’s carnie moment was a little boy. He looked to be of Indian descent with huge brown eyes and a quiet, peaceful smile. He was going around the carousel and every time he passed, he waved at me. Of course I waved back and smiled. The ride ended and his mom corralled him off to the exit doors. As they left I wished him a good day and asked him why he waved at me and not his mom (who had been standing next to him on the carousel) He responded by saying “mommy’s phone is more important than I am”.

I cannot really put into words how awful that made me feel today. As I was leaving for the day I walked past him and his mom and sure as shit, she was on the phone. He saw me, waved and said “thank you.” I could actually feel my heart breaking.